Journey : The path less travelled

It’s not the race with others.

It’s the journey to be your own better self every moment.

Lived by the old and contemporary habits, it’s not that easy to break free from all the bonds you have experienced since the beginning of your journey. Growing up in a doctor’s family, I always had that pressure of becoming a doctor.

Yes, it was not me who was taking it, it was evident that I was being given the same.

Interested in arts, classical dance, singing, acting, painting, cooking and everything else how could no one see what I wanted? Or was it just the exposure what matters? Because no one in the family had that exposure of choosing a different path so maybe that is why I wasn't allowed to. But when a child asks, while choosing their subjects after 10th grade that they want to take arts by their logic, just delete everything else and then this –

“I have no interest in maths so engineering, commerce and economics

are gone, biology I don’t want to study because I want to enjoy my life, so the only thing remining is arts, let me do arts”. And even after all this I got the answer that

“Doctor ki beti hoke arts nahi padhaunga”

(you're a doctor's child, i will not let you pursue arts)

The discussion was how can I be in the science stream without wasting my precious years of life in medical college. Then when I told them that I will do BSc, MSc and PhD and will remain in educational institution as professor and again the argument was “if you want to be in the educational institution do a professional degree and be there in the medical college only."

And the final statement was epic – “after doing so much in health profession, after getting retired shall we stand in lines for our treatment? Just take medical and clear AIIMS." It was clear that I had only one option to choose.

That was my first and last attempt from trying to break myself free from these societal norms. After that, dropping years, not getting the medical seat, doing dentistry in private colleges, and studying till thirty eighth year of my life starting from eighteen years is all history now.

Always finding myself unfit for the place and just trying to fit in was the never-ending struggle over and above the studies from graduation till PhD including two post graduations which I was pursuing with my wish or against my wish I had no idea. As I was not “Emotionally Intelligent” by then. Spending twenty years of my life which we call as so called “jawani ke saal” are all gone now. When I am realizing that till now, I was living my father’s dream. And after that last attempt of trying to be break free from societal norms, here comes today when I am making that attempt again by shooking off everything I had in these 20 years and choosing a path less travelled.

As said by Betty Sue Flowers, you can tell or narrate your story in different ways.

Facts will be same, but the narrative will change depending on whether you are portraying yourself as victim or hero of the story or relating it to the larger purpose of your life. Larger purpose I still can’t tell because as I go by Sadhguru’s statement that “Purpose of life is to just live life” but yes, I choose to narrate my story as a hero. Though till now it might have felt a victimized one, but as the saying goes….

“Picture abi baaki hai mere dost.” So yes, something was getting enlightened inside me since 2019's Bhutan trip when I started finding myself unfit for the place, where I was working, and which was my dream job in a dental college being an oral pathologist with a PhD. I had everything, a job, handsome salary, a home, a loving husband, a grown-up child, then what was it that I did not enjoy.

Doing what is expected, without any innovations except for the unending projects we write following a specific format and that too with an all-time terror of being noticed by our superiors, who wants that life? There are people who enjoy it but that was definitely not me.

So, what is it that I was looking for?

Converting every challenge into opportunity was something that I was doing since a very long time without even being aware of it but what I was not actually aware of was of the fact that how people are looking at it. That your hard work and zeal to flourish will be looked down upon and people will be intimidated by you even if they belong in administrative positions. To the point where they actually came and told me “If you are here now, then imagine five years later where you'll be.”

I wondered what made them think that for those 5 years they will be standing still. But I always believed in racing against me and not against people. So, the biggest difference was the values I was holding onto, and the shit people were living in without even realizing. That is why it’s said that along with your job you inherit the mess that comes along with it. But the fact is how much do we chose to be aware of our values and the mess that we are working with?

Lotus blooms in dirt for sure but after its full bloom, whether to go back in the same dirty muddy pond or get used for prayers in temple and even after that getting recycled to make agarbattis is the choice that the lotus may actually not have, but yes we as human beings surely do, which make us different from all these other species on this planet….Power of choice. So, I chose to be out of that shit and write my own story.

As Ankur Warikoo writes, if you crave for novelty then what makes you settle for one career, one title and one designation.

This is my break free from the societal norms.

To be with my senses.

To do what I like and shedding that rat race behind.

Because people who were racing with me for the next five years never understood that I never with them at the starting line itself. Because at this age we must all be wise enough to know that it’s not about the race with others.

It’s about the journey where you always strive to be better version of your own self.