Pleasing others v/s being truthful

Armaan: Mom I don’t want to go to football practice today.

Mom: Okay, your wish

Armaan: But then, what would I say to sir the next day?

Mom: That you didn’t want to come.

Armaan: He will scold me.

Mom: Why, you don’t feel like it, so you didn’t go, what is in there to scold?

Armaan looked at me with some questions in his eyes but he couldn’t speak.

Mom: Okay, if you feel it is not convincing, you can say that there was Mahashivratri Pooja at our home, so you couldn’t come.

Armaan: Okay Ma. Thank you, Ma.

He left the place with a confident smile.

This conversation with my son left me puzzled….What is it that must make Armaan think that his reason to not go is not convincing enough?

I placed myself in his situation and thought, if I had to face the same situation, what would I do, and the answer is I would also do the same, which is selling a more convincing situation which is not the actual truth but would allow the person to believe in you without asking questions. However, what difference would it make if he questions you back?

The answer was a series of questions and thoughts that would emerge in both minds. Where Armaan would surely think…. What must sir think of me?

And then the whole day he'll act and pretend in a way in which his sir will be pleased. According to him, he has made a mistake by following his heart and not coming to practice for one day. People who feel the need to please others as their working style often finds it hard to say “No”, also believe that telling the truth would not actually convince the person in front and they start making excuses which according to them would help the person to get convinced in a way that he would not ask further questions. But will this situation be able to solve the problem of those series of thoughts which both the minds will come across?

I don’t know about the person in front but if I was in Armaan’s place those series of thoughts would still come to me.

So if telling the truth is not convincing according to you and making excuses is also not solving the purpose. Then, what’s the thing that will solve this purpose?

Its about accepting the fact

that it's all HERE….. in me….. in my mind.

Maybe sir doesn’t even care that Armaan has not come, maybe he had just casually asked or maybe he cares or….. maybe, maybe, maybe…….

Question is….. Is that maybe strong enough to make you do what you don’t want to do, or is that maybe strong enough to make you say something which you don’t want to say?

Sometimes we're being told that we should ask ourselves whether that person infront of us holds an important presence in our life like your mother and father or maybe if you are married same comparison could be done with your husband and child. I feel that this comparison is inappropriate.

Because when Armaan has to learn to play a football for that particular time, yes, his sir is important to him like a mother and father. In your later life, if you face the same situation with your colleagues, yes,

it is important because you spend a major part of your day with them.

So, what is more appropriate is whether you can stop thinking about

those series of thoughts by putting forward your true feelings, or by putting forward something convincing. However, this will depend on the uniqueness of the situations which an individual will face and they will have to decide at that moment in itself.

Problem is not about following your heart and missing football practice once, the problem is not in telling the actual truth to the sir, the problem is also not about telling a more convincing situation to sir, the problem lies in those series of thoughts which will not allow you enjoy your present day. So, it will be purely an individual’s decision according to the situation that he finds best to curb all those thoughts coming to him so that he will completely immerse himself in the present. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with any situation. Everyone’s life is a different set of events therefore everyone’s decisions are unique, and everyone’s situations are unique. Leading a life in it's own unique way is always correct.

Whatever decision you make between either telling the truth, being true to yourself or telling a more convincing truth which is complimenting your need to please others' working style, its consequences will also be yours. What consequences are you comfortable handling is all dependent on you.

This is your life, your decisions, your consequences. You can make it beautiful by being true or by pleasing others.

Choice is completely yours because consequences are also completely yours.