Staying true to your zone : Lost the Won Battle or Building on Wisdom

“For a week you haven't been in your zone

You are behaving outside your zone”

Heard these words from my husband today sitting at the dining table for breakfast. Not that I was surprised to hear this; I had realized it myself, but then what changed when I heard it from his mouth? So I asked, “Is it that noticeable?”

He replied “Yes, it is indeed”

Ever wondered what being in a zone means?

Human life passes from the following stages, child, adult, young and old. However, the stages I believe in are something different from these. Childhood means when we think limitless and do limitless. Till we reach adulthood we have been controlled in several aspects to abide by the laws of society in which we live. And our default behaviour becomes controlled by limitlessness. Till the time we start realizing again that being in a controlled behaviour prevents us from being who we are, and we come to know that actual life dwells in limitlessness.

Our very soul is limitless however, the body in which it resides is limited. Our thoughts are

limitless but the society in which these thoughts prevail is limited. This is the stage of wisdom and after that, we start building on this wisdom for our whole life. Because once we enter this zone it is so satisfying and fulfilling that we don’t want to come out of it. Because we meet our real selves in this stage. But the challenge arises when someone from the previous zone happens to visit us for a long duration and that someone is none other than your parents. Who neither accept such a stage exists as they have not hit this stage themselves nor do they want to accept that such transformation has already taken place in their children because for them they are always the ones who have taught

wisdom to children.

Those 21 days were quite challenging for me, but I made a promise to myself that I will conquer these and will achieve my desired state of being by remaining in my own zone and not slipping into the one that they have seen of me or what they expect of me. Somehow, I was able to do that too for which I congratulated myself. Then what happened one week after they left that made Anshuman tell me and that also made me realise the same thing about not being in my own zone?

Is it because of the discussions that happened between my sister and I about how actually I felt and how I resisted slipping into their zone? Although I was able to manage my zone in their presence, while discussing those events I lived those moments again, I felt those emotions again and the battle which was won was again, lost in my own discussions.

So does that mean we should never let our hearts out? Is this what is known as living in the moment?

Yes, it is. When Sadhguru says “Right now at this moment are you unhappy?" When we let our past determine our present, we have already ruined our future. Life is in this moment, in the present and when we give importance to past experiences and future imaginations life just passes by our side, without us even noticing it.” Whatever made me unhappy I was able to manage it. But by discussing it I started seeing myself as a victim even though I was victorious in the past, where I lost the already-won battle.

But as it is mentioned that when we attain wisdom, we always build on it. Resisting their zone in their presence was my conscious competency. And with the discussions making me feel uncomfortable again, I became aware of one more unconscious incompetency of mine. In future by resisting the urge to discuss even will certainly become my conscious competency and with continuous efforts these two will become my unconscious competencies.

Yes, hearing from someone that, I am out of my zone and realizing the same for myself led to one step ahead for my own awareness.

Which is the first step of 3A Coacharya model.

So rather than giving importance to coming out of my zone, believing in myself and constantly growing myself towards my desired state is what I would call efficient self-coaching.